7 Sure-Fire Ways To Kill Your eBay Business
If you do any selling on eBay, or even if you're just starting out, I'm sure you know that "the devil is in the details."
There are so many things to take care of, and you're often worried about a hundred things that might fall through the cracks. There's listing items, answering questions, shipping… and the list goes on. So instead of worrying about all of the things that could go wrong, I'll tell you exactly how to kill your eBay business. Just do these and you won't be in business long.
1. Don't Care About Your Titles. Take some random words and put them in your title. Whatever you do, don't include the brand name. Make it impossible for people to find your product. Better yet, don't even bother with using up all 55 characters. Forget about spell check. Oh, and make sure you use words that people never type in like "[email protected]@K" and "WOW"
2. Take Really Bad Pictures. Just don't worry about your pictures at all. Make them work to figure it out, or don't even bother taking pictures. Make sure that if you do take pictures, you obscure the important details. Who cares if your customers can't tell what it is?
3. Sell Junk. Have no problem selling products you couldn't give away. Put worthless items up on eBay and then lie about them. Put that flea market special up for $100. Oh and make sure you lie about your item. Put that broken item up on eBay claiming it's top quality. Get some knock-offs and sell them as the real thing. Try to fool your customer. If they buy it, it's their problem. Let the buyer beware!
4. Don't Care About Your Description. Never mind that your customers read the description… just say whatever you want. Make up a story. Lie. Say it's in perfect condition when it's broken. And don't give any measurements or facts about your item. Use lots of mysterious terms that makes you look like you know what you're talking about. Give them useless information, talk about your problems. Yell about Nigerian scammers.
5. Don't Talk To Your Buyers. So you're getting emails from people who might buy. Big deal. Talking to your customers is a huge waste of time. If your customers are asking questions, they're probably too dumb to buy the item anyways. Don't bother with talking to them. Let them figure it out.
6. Make Your Listings Ugly. Make your font bright yellow on white. Use 6-point font. Who cares if you can read the text, anyway? It's not that important. Add little animations and flashing lights. Give your customer a headache. USE CAPITALS! Add some really obnoxious music that automatically plays.
7. Have Your Auctions End At Strange Hours. Why don't you end all your auctions at 4am? You're sure that everyone will stay up all night until the auction ends. They have nothing better to do anyways. Don't worry about when your customers will buy.
Jesse Holmes is an eBay PowerSeller who has been taking advantage of this eBay business opportunity for over 3 years. If you want in, don't miss his excellent free eBay Business Start Up Kit, showing you step by step how to learn to sell on eBay.